2011年7月23日星期六

talking to myself

My English writing isn’t very well, but I want to make some progress daily, so I decided to write my blog in English, and hoping one day people can tell me, which mistake I made, and I can make my progress!

For a long time, I believe that was I, who chosed my life style, chosed my job which I like it, and where I want to live. But after I came back home 1 year later, I think that might be a sort of flee from my responsibility and my duty for my family.
To be honest, before I left the country, I was like everyone, do my homework for the college, and work hardly for the farm, looking for true love, not find it, continue my reach, until someone betrayed me… I thought that I can don’t live like everyone else, same calendar, same plan for different people: university, job, apartment, car, marriage, child, education for kid, planning a better life for kid (whatever they want), apartment and car for kid, retire, do everything kid asked (such as babysitting for their kid, our grandchildren) …
I had not skill or courage to get myself out of these rhythm, and I didn’t know what I want for my life, what I want to be happy!
After living in France for 5 years, I saw very different lifestyles, I met people from different social class. Then, I know we can make different chose for our life. Even no money, we can help people, we can go outside and see the world! How could be a riche life, I had my ideas. If we work hard, which life could be find in France, I knew it. So I thought, this is it, I find my style, I know what I want! So, even I came back 1 year ago, for develop my experience in the Chinese market, looking for well known, I was still thinking that I will go back to France to start my career there, so I was not at home, be there for my parent, I thought, if I have a great career, and a lovely life, they could be happy like I am, so there is no need to be there for them every day.
But I was wrong, few days ago, my mammon called, I feel that they don’t want I continue my vagabondage, they want I come back home. Suddenly, I feel that all my chose before are self-serving, that was kind of flee from my responsibility and my duty for my family.
Finally, we can’t follow our inclinations, and we must be responsible for the other, like we need other’s support, we must give first!

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