2011年12月13日星期二

good bye Daddy!

After my last diary, I was back home for 4 months, was being around my parents for 4 months. Then, suddenly, my daddy was passed away...
Well, I cannot say it was unexpected, if someone was being ill for very longtime, like being paralytic for 20 years. But for someone we loved so much, we are never prepared for his leave…
I was not at home when he left, so I could not talk to him for the last time. That was my biggest regret. But mother said maybe that was his way to protect you from the fear of death. Because, it was a very bad image of your daddy, and a very helpless situation. I cannot know if that was his attention. But I do know that he was always worrying about me, and always wanted give me the best support he could give.
But I think he is in a better place now, after 20 years of illness, he deserves something great, happy time, and a wonderful place to be. So mammon and I prayed very longtime for him. And I believe that he will be in a great place soon.

2011年7月23日星期六

talking to myself

My English writing isn’t very well, but I want to make some progress daily, so I decided to write my blog in English, and hoping one day people can tell me, which mistake I made, and I can make my progress!

For a long time, I believe that was I, who chosed my life style, chosed my job which I like it, and where I want to live. But after I came back home 1 year later, I think that might be a sort of flee from my responsibility and my duty for my family.
To be honest, before I left the country, I was like everyone, do my homework for the college, and work hardly for the farm, looking for true love, not find it, continue my reach, until someone betrayed me… I thought that I can don’t live like everyone else, same calendar, same plan for different people: university, job, apartment, car, marriage, child, education for kid, planning a better life for kid (whatever they want), apartment and car for kid, retire, do everything kid asked (such as babysitting for their kid, our grandchildren) …
I had not skill or courage to get myself out of these rhythm, and I didn’t know what I want for my life, what I want to be happy!
After living in France for 5 years, I saw very different lifestyles, I met people from different social class. Then, I know we can make different chose for our life. Even no money, we can help people, we can go outside and see the world! How could be a riche life, I had my ideas. If we work hard, which life could be find in France, I knew it. So I thought, this is it, I find my style, I know what I want! So, even I came back 1 year ago, for develop my experience in the Chinese market, looking for well known, I was still thinking that I will go back to France to start my career there, so I was not at home, be there for my parent, I thought, if I have a great career, and a lovely life, they could be happy like I am, so there is no need to be there for them every day.
But I was wrong, few days ago, my mammon called, I feel that they don’t want I continue my vagabondage, they want I come back home. Suddenly, I feel that all my chose before are self-serving, that was kind of flee from my responsibility and my duty for my family.
Finally, we can’t follow our inclinations, and we must be responsible for the other, like we need other’s support, we must give first!

2011年7月14日星期四

2 years later...

I'm back to run my blog, 2 years later. I was too lazy, and we cannot run a google blog easily in CN.ok, no more politic!
thanks for who has looking for me to share their experiences with me, about my life in France, and wine.

2011年6月9日星期四

虽说变数,也没有说要做过山车呀!!!



突然之间又失业了,就是月薪万把还是没有安全感,看来工作真的是不容易让人有安全感的东西。
回国快要一年了,总结一下,收获还是很多的,但是弯路也走了不少呢。真不知道,如果当初不那样选择,今天是不是会轻松一点?
世上没有后悔药,还是找找下一个平台吧。
人的一生中,倒底是什么才会让人真正的有安全感呢?还是作为金牛座的我要求太高了?

2011年1月3日星期一

2010的东窜西跳!2011充满变数!

元旦了,没有回家,看来我还是一个适合一个人在外面生活的人,不但想回到亲戚朋友们的“过剩”的关心圈子的中心。
杭州,又下雪了,在上岛咖啡里坐着,回忆着在波尔多的小广场边的咖啡里坐着的感觉;
钱塘江边,自己的公寓里,做在空调机的低鸣声中,回忆着在波尔多时大房子的烟囱里松树枝的噼吧声;感觉再也不一样了。
家的定义什么时候变了?什么时候还没有确定下面?不知道,道不清的感觉!
2010年从波尔多到里昴,到巴黎,到香港,回到南京,又在最后一个月收拾好行装,来到杭州。不可以说不是东窜西跳了……
2011年,前方的路还充满变数,所以说不清,明年这个时候还会再哪里,顺其自然吧!祝我自己新年快乐!谢谢家人的理解与支持!希望我亲亲能早点来中国看我!